What makes people survivors

Yet after a while it becomes apparent that she has come not so much to describe her downfall as her survival. She says her fears no longer control her. She is functioning pretty well. She seems proud, and also grateful. Now I feel like telling it. You might think, given what happened to her, that a recovery of this scale would take months of intensive therapy. Yet Salcioglu says she has seen Eugenie for just eight sessions, and that she began to get better after four.

Many of their clients have reported a similar rate of improvement. Their successes challenge many of our common notions about the resilience of the human mind. While some people understandably crumble after extraordinarily harrowing events, others, like Eugenie have an extraordinary capacity to rebound and survive. Understanding why could lead us to help many more recover and grow after their experiences. Time is not always a healer - the lingering fear from a traumatic event can take decades to fade Credit: Getty Images.

Tales of extreme resilience are very rare in the media; after every tragedy, we are more often reminded of the permanent scars an event can leave on the mind.

Their lives can revolve around their symptoms, which include nightmares, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, disrupted moods or cognition, hypervigilance and irritability. Usually they harbour irrational fears that cause them to avoid situations that remind them of what happened.

Traumatised survivors of war crimes, and victims of torture and rape — such as Eugenie — typically fear sleeping in the dark. They have difficulty watching anything violent on TV. If they are women they are usually afraid of men and may choose to miss their bus or train if it carries a preponderance of men.

Left untreated, those symptoms can persist for years. In , Greek psychiatrists discovered that survivors of the earthquake on the island of Cephalonia, which killed and left many homeless, were still experiencing flashbacks and nightmares, more than half a century later.

This rather undermines the received wisdom that everyone in the vicinity of a disaster needs help. Such extreme differences in the way people cope are striking, and puzzling.

What makes some people more resilient, so they require less help and can pull through quicker than others? What are the reserves of inner strength that allow some people to survive a crisis Credit: iStock. Some clues come from the High Valley Resilience Study at Harvard Medical School, which followed a group of young people who had been hospitalised in their early teens due to severe psychosis. Following patients from the late 70s to the early 90s, it found that a minority surprised everyone by going on to lead normal lives in adulthood.

These survivors did not appear to possess any remarkable innate attributes. Instead, what set them apart was the way they framed the story of their illness and how they integrated it into their personal narratives.

This suggests that resilience and recovery do not require extraordinary resources or an innate toughness, but rather a willingness to adapt to circumstances. Masten, who studies at the Institute of Child Development at the University of Minnesota , points to several key factors , such as connecting with a wider community, sharing your experience with others and developing a sense of meaning in life.

In theory, these resources are open to anyone. Re-framing your life after a deep upset — getting your story right — can require considerable energy and imagination. All traumatised people have lost something. Usually the thing they have lost is the safe, predictable world that they knew; it can touch a person at the deepest existential level.

The challenges of drawing on your natural resilience are evident in the city of Van in the far east of Turkey, which I visited after my conversation with Eugenie. It is located in the East Anatolian highlands, a thinly populated, tectonically lively massif of snowy peaks, weathered foothills and scrubby plateaus.

Today, the city is best known for an earthquake that killed more than of its residents and left tens of thousands temporarily homeless. The earthquake struck at local time on 23 October It lasted 25 seconds and caused the partial or total collapse of thousands of houses and office buildings in Van and surrounding villages. Something about them as people had tipped the scales in their favor.

Quite the contrary. Years later, when I was a graduate student in clinical psychology, I discovered that psychologists and psychiatrists did not seem to know much about the people who hold up well under pressure. After graduation I started a personal research project to understand people with, as I came to call it, survivor personalities.

The criteria I developed included those who:. One benefit of a good education is learning how to learn. I kept a curious and open mind as I read autobiographies and interviewed hundreds of people over many years—survivors of the World War II Bataan Death March; Jewish survivors of the Nazi Holocaust; ex-POWs and war veterans; survivors of cancer, polio, head injury, and other physically challenging conditions; survivors of earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, and other natural disasters; survivors of rape, abuse, alcoholism, codependency, and addiction; parents of murdered children; and survivors of bankruptcy, job loss, and other major life-disrupting events.

I became curious about public employees who remain cheerful and dedicated to their work even while being maligned by the people they serve. With a quiet mind I absorbed whatever people told me. I allowed the territory to create its own map for me. I gradually began to sense some patterns, some predictable qualities and ways of reacting.

I stopped being surprised, for example, to hear survivors laugh at themselves about some stupid thing they did. I learned that survivors are ordinary people with flaws, worries, and imperfections.

When people call them heroes they disagree. He gave large credit to his crew, training, and experience. Media interviews with the crew after the incident showed that they were aware it would take time for them to heal from their ordeal, that they are not superhumans who could resume doing immediately if ever exactly what they were doing before.

It is important to understand, however, that chance and luck are key factors when a group of people is being randomly shot by gunmen, trapped in a sinking boat, or caught in a large burning building. It is as though a cosmic coin toss determined which people would be killed and which ones would not. In every crisis and emergency, however, some people have a better chance of surviving. If you are still alive after a major catastrophe, there can be a small window of time when what you do can make a difference.

I learned that a few people are born with their survivor traits firmly intact. They are the natural athletes in the game of life and have a natural talent for coping well. The rest of us need to work consciously to develop our abilities.

Just as we would have to take lessons and practice to become musicians or artists, we have to work at learning how to handle pressure, difficult people, negative situations, and disruptive change. Many of the strongest people in our world have been through experiences that no public school would be allowed to arrange. They have been strengthened in the school of life. They have been abused, lied to, deceived, robbed, raped, mistreated, and hit by the worst that life can throw at them.

Their reaction is to pick themselves up, learn important lessons, set positive goals, and rebuild their lives. I learned that people seldom tap into their deepest strengths and abilities until forced to do so by a major adversity.

As Julius Segal, a distinguished survivor researcher, has said, "In a remarkable number of cases, those who have suffered and prevail find that after their ordeal they begin to operate at a higher level than ever before.

The terrible experiences of our lives, despite the pain they bring, may become our redemption. He had no window to look out and nothing to read. He was frequently hog-tied, beaten, and subjected to grueling interrogations. Amazing what a little adversity can teach a person. I really felt there was some meaning to that, to my experience itself.

Again and again you can find stories of people who say their life threatening ordeals were the most valuable experiences of their lives. At the other extreme, some people who are healthy, employed, and living in safe communities with loving families complain about their lives as though they were being tortured.

Our attitudes determine our well-being more than our circumstances. Some people thrive in the very same situation that is distressing and overwhelming to others. In recent years, thousands of people have lost their jobs through no fault of their own. Many become discouraged and financially distressed, while others find their strengths, start successful small businesses, and are thriving. Fortunately, almost every person is born with the ability to learn how to handle unfair situations and disturbing experiences.

A frustrating situation for a teacher! It may be viewed as one of the cognitive and mood-related symptoms of PTSD, which include having distorted feelings of guilt and negative thoughts about oneself. The most common psychological symptoms include:.

Common physical symptoms can include:. If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database. Following a trauma , people may also experience feelings of regret.

They may ruminate over the events that took place and think about things they could have or should have done that they think would have altered the outcome. This rehashing of the events can further exacerbate feelings of guilt, particularly if people feel that their own actions or inactions may have worsened the consequences.

In many cases, this rumination is influenced by what is known as the hindsight bias. People look back and overestimate their ability to have known the outcome of an event. Because they feel like they should have predicted what happened, people may become convinced that they should also have been able to change the outcome. However, not everyone who lives through such an experience develops these feelings of guilt.

Some people are more likely to internalize blame. When explaining events, they tend to attribute causation to personal characteristics rather than outside forces. In a lot of situations, this can actually be a good thing for self-esteem. By taking credit for good outcomes, people are able to feel better about themselves and their abilities. But it can be devastating when people blame themselves for events out of their control.

Additional factors that may increase a person's risk of experiencing survivor's guilt include:. Getting appropriate treatment if you are experiencing such symptoms is important. Not only can it reduce your mental well-being and quality of life, but it can also present serious risks, particularly if other symptoms of PTSD are also present. In fact, researchers have found that trauma-related guilt is closely linked to suicidal thoughts in veterans.

Share feelings with family and friends. Or, if loved ones do not understand these feelings, look for a relevant support group. Both face-to-face support groups and online communities allow survivors to connect with others, express themselves, and ask questions. Mindfulness can be beneficial for people who have experienced trauma, especially during flashbacks or periods of intense and painful emotions.

Try grounding techniques, which may include focusing on the breath, feeling nearby fabrics, and noticing sounds both inside and outside the room. Experiencing an event involving loss or potential loss of life is frightening and overwhelming.

Survivors can benefit from doing activities that feel good, such as:. During recovery, it can be helpful to avoid drugs and alcohol. These substances can cause emotional disturbances, and there is a higher risk of substance use disorder among people with PTSD. People who continue to experience intense guilt, flashbacks, disturbing dreams, and other symptoms of PTSD should consider getting professional help, such as talking to a doctor or a psychotherapist who specializes in trauma.

Therapy is the primary treatment for PTSD, but some people may also require medication. Treatment can help people begin to regain control of their lives and experience relief from symptoms. Survivors who have thoughts of death or suicide or have attempted suicide should seek immediate medical attention. Research indicates that surviving a traumatic event that involved a loss of life can increase the risk of suicide.